The Thom(p)sons travel round the world

And if there were to be an award for the most accident-prone travellers in the world of Tintin, the Thom(p)sons would have a strong case to make. For this inseparable duo never stop meddling in everything and getting themselves into the most unlikely situations.

It must be said that our two investigators have travelled extensively. China, Syldavia, Scotland, Khemed, Borduria… and even the Moon! Few tourists could say the same. And almost everywhere they go, they seem to employ a method uniquely their own, in an attempt to adapt to their surroundings and, if possible, go unnoticed. To no avail, of course.

So, before we pack away this summer’s suitcases for good, let’s join them on a little trip around the world. Get your passports out, check your tickets and, above all… don’t let them see the itinerary!

In the original black-and-white version of Cigars of the Pharaoh, the future Thomson and Thompson are still referred to by their service numbers, X33 and X33A. In this story, the two police officers pursue Tintin on an adventure that takes him from Egypt to India. Travelling is therefore practically in their blood right from their very first appearance in the series.

In The Crab with the Golden Claws, the sharp-witted detectives also get a taste of the joys of a sea voyage. Having boarded the Karaboudjan before it set sail, they soon attract attention and are eventually shown the door rather unceremoniously. They barely have time to enjoy their visit before they’re literally thrown off the ship. But don’t worry, they’ll be back on the sly to lend our hero a hand – but shhh, mum’s the word!

For the Thom(p)sons, it’s one step forward and two feet soaring through the air to land a vignette away. Misguided instincts and a healthy dose of repeated blunders in uncharted territory. After all, what’s the point of travelling otherwise?

QWhen Tintin finds himself caught up in a fantastical adventure centred on Ottokar’s sceptre, our bowler-hatted duo—minus the leather boots—are never far behind. Indeed, Syldavia is a rather unique destination in their travel log. Everything there seems foreign yet familiar—the roads, hotels, cars, and cafés. Hergé invented an entire country but anchored it in an instantly recognisable Europe, allowing our two mustachioed figures to play the role of international agents without completely losing their bearings.

In fact, all it takes is a parcel bomb for things to spiral out of control. Our two globetrotters who specialise in the impossible, examine it, wonder about it, move closer... and it literally blows up right under their noses. The journey hasn’t even begun, yet the tone has already been set.

But if one had to choose the Thom(p)tson’s most memorable travel experience, it would be hard not to look at China. How on earth are they going to get themselves out of this mess without knowing a single word of Chinese? The question is almost rhetorical: they’re going to get themselves into a right mess!

In The Blue Lotus, they are sent to Shanghai on a mission: to arrest Tintin. That’s all there is to it. So here they are, having landed on the other side of the world, and faced with a major challenge. How can they operate discreetly in a foreign country?

The answer seems obvious to them: all they have to do is dress like the locals. Or rather, like they imagine the locals dress. As a way of blending in, it’s a complete failure. The majority of people on the street turn to look as they walk past, seeing these two weirdos strutting about with the confidence of tourists convinced they’ve fully grasped local customs.

You can imagine the result. Their disguise mainly reveals the caricatured image they have of the country they are visiting. Hergé even takes the joke quite far, as passers-by laugh or stare at them in astonishment. In their eagerness to go unnoticed, they end up achieving the exact opposite. Beneath their outfits, they remain police officers on duty, there to arrest Tintin. And when they finally get their hands on him, the situation takes yet another unexpected turn. It really does seem that, even in Shanghai, nothing ever goes to plan with them.

Now we head to Great Britain in The Black Island. Tintin tracks down a gang of counterfeiters all the way to Scotland, and the Thompsons find themselves once again hot on his heels. They chase after Tintin, question him, lose track of him, set off in search of him again, and run into one mishap after another with almost admirable regularity.

The Thom(p)sons, however, are convinced they have caught the culprit and have solved the case. A certainty which, coming from them, should always make the reader wary…

The chase then continues across the British countryside, with that rather irresistible blend of determination and clumsiness that characterises them. Tintin gives them the slip. Nothing seems able to stop our two makeshift Highlanders, except perhaps their own initiative.

With them, air travel sometimes feels less like a way of getting to a destination and more like a scientific experiment designed to determine how many disasters can occur before the plane lands.

Yet this is only a small part of the lives of our two amateur adventurers. This time, the setting changes radically, with countless dunes and persistent mirages. For if there is one destination where the Thom(p)sons deserve a medal for their life’s work, it is probably the Middle East featured in Land of Black Gold.

This time, they’re not here on holiday. After investigating the mysterious engine explosions, they’ve been sent on a mission and are now aboard the Speedol Star, bound for Khemed.

No sooner had they arrived, of course, than the trouble began. They soon found themselves behind the wheel of a Jeep in the desert. One vehicle, two Thom(p)sons, kilometres of sand and virtually no obstacles on the horizon. What could possibly go wrong? You don’t need a crystal ball to know, just about everything!.

The desert does, however, have one decisive advantage: it’s hard to miss a junction there, as there are practically none. The Thom(p)sons still manage to complicate matters, though. They go round in circles and carry on their way with the admirable confidence of those who have absolutely no idea where they’re going. Will they manage to pull off the impossible?

And since every journey brings its share of minor health problems, their holiday has another surprise in store for them. Traveller’s diarrhoea? Far too commonplace for our two dunces. Towards the end of their adventure, some tablets containing the infamous Formula Fourteen – which they swallowed thinking they were taking aspirin – causes their hair and beards to grow spectacularly, accompanied by a change in colour.

Now that’s a hair-related souvenir they’d probably have preferred to leave behind. And the best bit – or the worst, depending on your point of view – is that the story isn’t over yet. This unruly hair is set to make headlines once again in a destination far, far away…

Having already visited Europe, Asia and the Middle East, Hergé could hardly have sent his two detectives much further afield. Yet there remained one unlikely destination: the Moon!

In Destination Moon, the Thom(p)sons join Tintin, Haddock and Calculus at the Sprodj Atomic Research Centre in Syldavia. The centre is, however, one of the most secret and heavily guarded places in the country. Never mind: the Thom(p)sons are now moving amongst the engineers, technicians and military personnel tasked with preparing the lunar expedition.

And it wasn’t long before Hergé provided them with a setting to match their talent. During the X-ray scan, the two policemen spotted two skeletons on the screen… their own! Needless to say, that was all it took to cause more panic.

The truth does, of course, eventually come to light, but not before a few scares and a visit to Dr. Patella. Even in a top-secret scientific centre preparing for the first manned expedition to the Moon, the Thom(p)sons still manage to be frightened by their own anatomy. You can’t change who you are.

And yet, the adventure is set to take them much further than they could ever have imagined. Having come to keep an eye on the rocket before its departure, they get the lift-off time wrong and end up on board after all. A trip to the Moon by mistake… even for the Thom(p)sons, that’s quite a feat! The journey that was meant to be taken by Tintin, Haddock, Calculus and Wolff thus ends up with two extra passengers that nobody really needed. And in this adventure, the famous hair phenomenon that appeared in Land of Black Gold decides to make a comeback.

Their hair and moustaches are starting to grow back at a prodigious rate.The two freak show attractions are almost completely hidden beneath a mass of hair that is literally taking over the cabin, forcing their companions to step in. They have to cut it, again and again… in the hope that this time will be the one!

Tourism has its limits, but they clearly have far fewer. And having followed the Thom(p)sons all the way to the Moon, it’s hard to think of a more distant destination this time round.

As we close this album of zany travels, it’s hard to say which new adventure the Thom(p)sons would recommend. China? All they really managed to do there was attract everyone’s attention. Great Britain? The trip was eventful and the flight rather rough. The Middle East? Between the Jeep, the desert and their hair-related problems, it’s not certain they’d have given it a five-star review. As for the Moon… let’s just say the trip went slightly beyond the scope of a package holiday.

But then again, perhaps they’re the ones who’ve really got the hang of holidays. The best memories aren’t always the ones you’d planned. So, those relaxing days are well and truly over… until the next trip.